


Eli (Jackalope Rabbitman)

by TheTravelerWrites



Series: Shelter Forest: The Towns [3]
Category: Original Works
Genre: Epilepsy, Exophilia, F/M, Facial Scars, Head Injury, Mutual Pining, Nearly Fatal Accident, POV Second Person, Partial Mutism, Rabbitman, Reader Insert, Second Person Perspecive, Seizures, Sex, absence seizure, beastman - Freeform, jackalope, myoclonic jerks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:22:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTravelerWrites/pseuds/TheTravelerWrites
Summary: A young woman who suffered a terrible accident as a child is still struggling with the result of it as an adult. Her best friend, the stoic, grumpy Eli, gets a job offer to run a store several towns and many weeks travel away, and she has to choose between her feelings for him and his happiness.
Relationships: Female Human/Male Rabbitman
Series: Shelter Forest: The Towns [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578637
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

Eli had been your best friend since before you could remember. He’d been left as a small child on the doorstep of the orphanage near your home just a few months before you were born. The matrons of the orphanage believed he was a beastman child, a rabbit, but he had the nibs of horns or antlers poking out through the skin on the top of his head, so no one was entirely sure which race he actually belonged to. He could have been a hybrid, as far as anyone knew.

Your father had died in an accident while your mother was pregnant with you, and since she had no other family and you had no older siblings to assist her, she often had the children of the orphanage help out around her shop in exchange for pocket money or treats. Eli was happy to help out, even without a reward. He liked to be useful to people, and as taciturn as he was, he enjoyed being praised and appreciated.

Even as a boy, Eli was a stern, serious child. Some might have said he was downright grumpy. According to the story your mother told you, the day he met you was the first time anyone had ever seen him smile. He was three and you were only a few weeks old. From that day on, he was your shadow, going where you went, sitting with you when your mother was working, playing with you to keep you laughing, even sleeping next to your crib when your mother would allow it.

With your mother, Eli, and the other children for company, you were the happiest little girl that ever lived. You thought you’d always be this happy.

Then, when you were six, there was the accident.

A family member on your father’s side, an uncle of his, had been pushing your mother to sell the shop to him and remarry. Your mother always refused, stating that the shop had been your father’s legacy and his final gift to his unborn child, something that you would one day inherit, and she wouldn’t give it up. The last time he came, she told him to leave and never come back. In his anger, he wasn’t paying attention to where he drove his horses and they trampled you into the dirt, the wheel of his carriage running right over your head.

The injuries were severe. The physicians were sure that you wouldn’t survive, but somehow you pulled through. The accident had left you with lasting issues, though. You stopped speaking almost completely and needed to learn a special signing language in order to communicate. You began to have seizing fits and memory lapses. There were scars on your face, head, and neck from the hooves biting into the flesh. The pink and red scars were very noticeable against your dark skin, so you’d grown your curly, dark cocobolo-colored hair long to hide it somewhat.

Your mother and Eli were beside themselves with grief and worry, and it was the only time in your life you could ever remember seeing Eli cry. They both devoted themselves to caring for you and your rehabilitation. They never once made you feel like you were a burden, but you knew your mother had sold most of her valuables and worked her hands to the bone in order to pay for your treatments. You felt guilty about this and swore that you’d take over the store one day, so that your mother could rest easy and not have to work herself to death. 

Eli was your staunchest ally. When children you’d once played with started teasing you because of your scars, he came to your defense. He became even more surly and dour as he aged, though he never failed to treat you with tenderness. You’d always admired his stoic nature, even if other people thought he was a grouch.

Now that Eli was grown, he’d started working at the store full time. He was huge now; a solid wall of muscle built up from carrying all the heavy things around the shop, and his antlers had grown in, making him quite the imposing figure.

He had always been cute and fuzzy, and you’d always enjoyed snuggling up to his warmth for comfort, but it was becoming harder to do that. He was a man now and you were a woman, and you were feeling a bit more than friendship for him. If you were to be completely honest, you were head over heels in love with him.

“Mornin’, Winnie,” He said as he stepped into the store, putting on his work apron. “Mornin’, Mrs. Brathwaite.”

“Mornin’, Eli,” Your mother replied. You signed _good morning_ in reply, and even though he nodded politely at your mom as he always did, he smiled brightly at you.

“The first of this season’s fruit just arrived. Why don’t you get started on that for me?” Your mother asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Eli said, heading to the backroom for the crates. He winked at you as he passed, and you couldn’t help but giggle a little. As you swung back to resume sweeping, your mother’s bemused smirk caught your eye.

“What?” You asked.

“Are you two going to flirt all day?” She asked in a low tone.

“He’s my best friend,” You signed. “We’re not flirting.”

“Uh-huh,” She said, not convinced.

You lowered your head. Even if you did like Eli, so what? He already had a lady friend. And besides… he had gone through a lot of pain and trouble because of you. You didn’t want to cause him more suffering. You felt the familiar rapid twitching in your arm, ticks that you’d suffered from since the accident. It settled after a moment and you continued sweeping.

“What do you have planned for the evening, Eli?” Your mother asked when he returned with the crates.

“Not really,” He said evasively.

“Oh, come now, big lad like you with no plans on a Friday night? I don’t believe that for a second.” 

Eli humphed and shrugged. “May grab a drink with some friends. Marnie and Theo from the orphanage are coming back into town, so I want to be there to greet them.”

You bounced up and down. You didn’t know they were coming back so soon! “Can I go, too? I’ll be careful.”

“Oh, honey, you know you shouldn’t drink,” Your mother said, holding a hand to her cheek. “It makes your condition worse.”

“I won’t drink, I just want to see some of my friends,” You insisted. “Eli will be there, he’ll look after me.”

“Yeah, always,” Eli said. “Come on, Mrs. Brathewaite, my old friends don’t come to town often these days. They’ll want to see how well Winnie’s doing now.”

“Well, alright. But only if you finish your work and drink lots of water.”

“Thank you, Mama!” You signed, hugging her around the shoulders.

She laughed and swatted at you. “Away, now! The floor won’t sweep itself!”

You smiled at her. She never made you feel different and treated you the same as she always had. You knew she worried for you, but she did her best to support and encourage you. You couldn’t have asked for a better mother.

Several of the kids who were about to age out of the orphanage took jobs at Cetzu’s and his father-in-law’s furniture and woodcarving store as either shophands or apprentices. Two of them, a pair of half-elf siblings named Marnie and Theo, had become couriers for orders out of town and were often away for weeks to months at a time.

Cetzu was a lizardfolk man who had taken over the orphanage, along with his wife, Merriwyn, when the old matron had passed away. How he managed to run an orphanage and a store at the same time was beyond you, but he seemed very happy with the arrangement, as did his family and the other children. So much so that many of the orphans had no interest in being adopted.

Your mother let you and Eli off work a little early so that you could freshen up before meeting Marnie and Theo at the pub, where they said they’d be once they made it into town and handed off the earnings. Eli had moved out of the orphanage and was living in the bunkhouse of the pub to save up for a house of his own, so you would meet him there when you had washed up and changed clothes.

It was as you were walking to the outhouse that you felt it, the tingling begin. It was already too late to get back to the house. Your consciousness faded swiftly and a greyness overtook you, tunneling your vision to a pinpoint. You were dimly aware of a thud and a dull pain in your head before you completely blacked out.

You awoke later in your bed with both your mother and Eli sitting in chairs next to you, conversing quietly. They both jumped up when you stirred.

“Hey, Little Bear,” Eli said. He’d called you Little Bear since the accident, saying that you must have been a big grizzly bear in your previous life, since how could so small a creature as you be strong enough to survive such a terrible thing? “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” You signed. “I had a seizure.”

Your mother nodded. “You hit your head on the step of the outhouse when you fell. Luckily it was a soft wood, so you’ve got a cut but it doesn’t seem to be deeper than that. You’ve been out for ten minutes or so. The physician is on his way over to examine you, just to be safe.”

You nodded tiredly. “Sorry, Eli. Am I keeping you from seeing Marnie and Theo?”

“Don’t worry about them right now,” He said. “You’re my best friend. You take priority.”

You tried not to let him see your blush, so you looked down, only to realize you were wearing different clothes. A knock at the door downstairs drew your attention, and Eli went to answer it so your mother could stay with you.

“Why am I redressed?” You asked her.

“Oh…” Your mother leaned in close and whispered regretfully, “I’m afraid you wet yourself while you were having the fit.”

_Oh god! _You thought to yourself as you hid behind your hands. “_Please _tell me it wasn’t Eli who found me!”

“Honey, he knows that can happen. It doesn’t bother him,” You mother assured you.

“It bothers me! It’s disgusting! Anyone would think so!” You said, grimacing and on the verge of tears.

“I don’t think so. It’s just life, darling,” She said, patting your back.

A tear fell and your lip quivered, but you took her hand and squeezed it.

The physician came into the room with Eli trailing behind him. You dashed away your tears and tried to make your face neutral as both men entered the room.

Dr. Ichabod was a fixture in town and had been treating you for years. He was tall and pale, otherworldly almost. He was also committed to his craft, extremely sympathetic, and very gentle with a soft spot for children, although Eli never seemed to trust him fully. He was always telling you that something about the doctor smelled off.

“Sorry it took me so long to arrive,” He said, taking your hand. “Seems we had a bit of a spill.”

You nodded. “I had a seizure on the way to the outhouse. It hit with no warning. Usually I have some kind of notice so I can get somewhere safe, but I was blindsided this time. I had all of two seconds to react.”

Dr. Ichabod listened patiently as your mother translated your signing into spoken word. “I see. How long did the seizure last?”

“Eight minutes,” Your mother said.

“Was she moved during that time?”

“No, we waited until it ran its course, then we brought her inside so she could wake up comfortably.”

“Good,” Ichabod said. “Let’s see to this gash, then.”

He opened his doctor’s bag and took out a witch’s hazel tincture and began dabbing it onto the cut with a cloth.

“Sorry, Eli,” You said to him. “It looks like I won’t be able to go to the pub with you tonight. You should go on without me.”

“I don’t want to go now,” He said, frowning. “I can’t out go and have a drink while you’re hurt. I’d feel like an asshole.”

Dr. Ichabod began wrapping your head as you waved dismissively. “I’m fine, it’s just a scratch. I can see Marnie and Theo tomorrow. Really, you should go.”

His frown deepened. “Are you sure?”

“Of course, of course. Go have fun. I’m safe and well and resting, so there’s no reason to feel bad. Honestly, go see our friends and have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He sighed unhappily and bent to kiss your forehead. “If you say so. I’ll bring you back something. I’m sure they brought souvenirs.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m doing it anyway,” He said with a shadow of a smile. “Get some rest. Have your mother send for me if you need anything.”

“I will,” you agreed. He ran a hand down your hair in parting before leaving reluctantly.

The next morning, you awoke to find Eli sitting in a chair next to your bed, whittling what looked like a large spoon.

“Why are you here?” You asked, sitting up abruptly and immediately regretting it as your head began to throb.

“I’m checking on you,” He said simply, putting his whittling away and pressing at your shoulder to get you to sit back against your pillows. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” You said, which was mostly true. “I meant, why are you in my bedroom?”

His face scrunched in confusion. “What are you talking about? I’ve been allowed in here since we were tiny. Has that changed for some reason?”

You pressed your mouth into a tight line and shook your head. _Don’t’ get weird on him_, you thought to yourself. “How are Marnie and Theo?”

Marnie was Eli’s girlfriend, but they didn’t see each other much these days because of Marnie’s job. Their relationship had begun casually a few years ago and was just something you had come to accept. You even managed to keep the grimace off your face when they kissed in front of you. You wanted to be happy for them both, but…

“They’re good,” He said, brightening. “Speaking of which, I bought something off of them for you.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box, handing it to you. Inside was a small, delicate glass vial with a pinky liquid lying on velvet.

“It’s perfume,” He said. “Made from peonies. There are no perfumeries anywhere near here, so I thought you might like it.”

A surprised smile crossed your lips as you took the tiny bottle out of the box and pulled off the stopper. The fragrance was light and airy and reminded you of spring.

“Thank you,” You signed.

“Anytime,” He replied with a smile. “Well, now that I know you won’t slip into a coma in your sleep, I should go downstairs to help your ma. Marnie and Theo will be along later to look in on you and have a chat. If you need anything, throw something really hard against the floor, okay?”

You snorted a laugh and nodded, lying back on the bed as he went downstairs. Ordinarily you could get right up after a seizure, but the bonk on the head worried the doctor, and he ordered you to rest in bed for another day. You were used to days of rest, so you knew how to while away the time, but all you could do was stare at the bottle of perfume sitting in its prim packaging.

It was lovely and you adored it… but… perfume was something a man gave his sweetheart, not his best friend. You didn’t dare get your hopes up; perhaps he just didn’t understand the gesture. He was an antisocial sort, so it would make sense. Even still, you would treasure this gift for the rest of your life.

Marnie and Theo arrived just after lunch with presents of their own.

“Hey girl!” Theo said, sweeping in to give you a hug. “What are you doing lazing about, eh?”

“Theo, don’t tease,” Marnie said, hugging you as well. You still loved Marnie and she was one of the kids who had stayed your friend after the accident, even learning the signing language so she could understand you, so it was easy enough to suppress the petty impulse to push her away. “How are you feeling, love?”

“I’m alright,” You said. “My head only hurts when I move too fast.”

“You didn’t have to be so eager to see us that you’d smash your head open!” Theo said, carefully lifting the wrappings to look at the wound. “Oof. That’s a pretty bruised. You did a good job knocking yourself around, girlie.”

“I didn’t mean to do it!” You protested.

“I know, I know,” Theo said, holding up his hands. “You’re really okay? We had a shock when Eli told us about it last night. We nearly forgot to offer him the job.”

“Job?”

“Yeah, Cetzu’s stuff is really popular in Dunmountain, so we were talking to Cetzu about setting up a shop in the city instead of just selling out of the wagon, and he agreed! We want Eli to run the shop.”

You felt like your heart had fallen out of your body, phased through the floor, and was being trodden on by the customers browsing the shelves downstairs. Dunmountain? That was three weeks away on horseback, he’d never visit! You’d be lucky if you saw him once a year, especially if he would be running his own store.

“What did he say?” You asked, trying to keep the panic off your face.

“He said he’d have to think about it,” Marnie said, pouting. “He’s such a homebody. I’m sure once he gets to the city and sees how amazing it is, he’ll feel right at home.”

“He’s just playing close to the chest, like always,” Theo said. “He’ll come ‘round before we leave on Thursday.”

_Thursday?!_ That was only two days away! No! No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening! You’d always taken for granted that he’d be there, a constant, reassuring presence. He’d been your shield, your foundation since you were both children. You couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t have him in it. The idea that he might move away or otherwise leave had never crossed your mind.

“You okay?” Theo said, putting a hand on your shoulder and jostling you slightly. “You spaced out for a moment. We were calling your name.”

“Sorry,” You signed. “Might have had an absence seizure. Sorry about that.”

“No worries,” He replied. “Well, we’ll let you rest. We’ll be around town and staying at the pub for a couple days if you want to see us.”

“Of course. I’ll be up and about tomorrow, if not sooner,” You replied.

“Good,” Marnie said. She and Theo stood and bid you farewell as they headed downstairs. You could hear Marnie talking to Eli in a low, flirty tone, but couldn’t make out the words, which just added to the discomfort in your chest.

You were being selfish and you knew it. You couldn’t expect Eli to help take care of you forever. He had a life to live that didn’t involve being your nursemaid. You’d often wondered how much of his own personal happiness he’d sacrificed to be your friend and it made you feel guilty, in the same way your mom working so hard to support the two of you made you feel guilty. Just existing made you feel guilty sometimes, but there wasn’t much you could do about that.

Eli and Marnie could be together for real if he decided to go, too. He didn’t talk much about their relationship, but you knew they were close, having grown up in the orphanage together. You never asked, either, because you didn’t think you could stomach the details.

You couldn’t keep him here. Clinging to him would only drive him away faster. If he wanted to leave, then you would support him, no matter how much it would destroy you.

Even still, that resolution didn’t stop you from crying yourself to sleep.

You woke around dinnertime, and Eli was gone by then. You felt well enough to go downstairs to the kitchen and sit at the table with your mother to take your meal.

“Are you feeling alright, love?” She asked as she placed a bowl of stew and a cup of tea in front of you. “You’re eyes are all red.”

A muscle twitch made you slam your hand down, though you’d be lying if you said you didn’t also feel the gesture was appropriate.

“I’m fine! I wish everyone would stop asking!”

Your mother tilted her head patiently. “Alright. So what happened?”

“Nothing.”

She sighed. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s alright, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lie to me.”

Your anger fizzled out, replaced by the familiar sense of regret. “I’m sorry. You’re right, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s all you had to say, dear. I know things are difficult for you sometimes, but you don’t need to snap at people who only want to help you.”

“Yes, Mama, I know.” You rubbed your forehead and huffed an irritated sigh. “I’m alright. Thank you for dinner.”

“Of course.”

Dinner was a silent affair, and when you were finished, you helped your mother with the dishes and tidying the shop. She cast furtive glances at you all evening, but you kept your thoughts to yourself. It felt like all your business was out for everyone to see; you deserved to have some things that were private, even from your mother.

After a sleepless night, you joined your mother in the shop after breakfast. Eli came in at his regular time, gave a nod to your mother, and smiled brightly at you, as he always did. You tried to muster a returning smile, but you thought it might have seemed lacking.

Eli blessedly did not ask how you were feeling, as seeing you up and working must have been evidence in itself, though he did insist you drink water and take breaks more often than usual. The doctor was due back that evening to check the wound and change the bandage, but you were getting sick of being in bed all day.

At the end of the work day, Eli approached you.

“Your mom is closing the store tomorrow so that she can run errands and visit with some friends. Do you want to spend the day with me?”

Your head rocked back. “What about Theo and Marnie?”

He laughed. “What about them? We spent time together yesterday and the day before.”

“Well… yes… but…” You swallowed hard and took a big breath. “You and Marnie are a couple, aren’t you? Don’t you want to spend as much time with her as you can before she leaves again?”

He shook his head. “Marnie and I… She’s fun to be with and I do care about her, but we’ve never been serious and we never will be. She knows that.”

“Are you sure she does? Or are you assuming?” You asked him skeptically. “Don’t play with her. If she sees more in your relationship, don’t lead her on if you’re not serious.”

“If it’s not clear, then I’ll make it clear,” He assured you. “Honestly, I’m sure she knows my heart is somewhere else.”

Your brow furrowed, but before you could ask what he meant, he asked again, “So do you? What to spend the day with me tomorrow?”

You felt your heart in your throat, but you nodded.

“Great. Then I’ll pick you up after breakfast, then.” He bid you and your mother farewell for the evening and headed home. You watched him leave numbly. Confusion didn’t begin to describe how you felt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a day at the market with Eli, He and Winnie finally confront each other about the truth.

After a breakfast you barely touched, Eli arrived. He was dressed a bit nicer than normal, which perplexed you. After greeting your mother, the two of you left and went to Market Row, where many vendors had set up stalls in between the established local stores.

Despite being a small town, Coleville was known for its diverse, well-guarded marketplace and friendly attitude toward traveling merchants, as long as they weren’t doing anything shady or selling anything illegal. There were always new vendors selling new things, so going to Market Row was a different experience every time you went.

Though, you didn’t go often. With your condition plus helping at the store, going to the market was difficult on your own. Doing most things was difficult on your own, if you were honest. Since you couldn’t talk, many people were hesitant to work with you and often shied away from interacting with you. It was exhausting. The stares at your scars didn’t endear you to strangers, either. Without the buffer of your mother, Eli, or another of your friends who knew sign language, dealing with other people was a chore that you often avoided.

Eli seemed in good spirits today; chipper even. He was smiling at people and being much chattier than normal. You weren’t sure if you were enjoying this weird out-of-character mood of his or if you felt jealous; he normally only acted like this with you.

Well, and Marnie, too, probably.

Alright, you were jealous.

There was a candy stall set up that you’d never seen before, selling honeyed nuts and caramels and candied fruit. It was all crazy expensive, but the vendor seemed to be doing well for himself. Considering the price of sugar, candy was a rare treat usually reserved for the very rich. It seemed many people in town felt this novelty was worth the splurge, including Eli.

“Let’s go get some,” He said.

“But!” You protested. “It’s so pricey!”

“When’s the next time we’ll get the chance? A little bit won’t bankrupt us,” He said. “It’s a special day, after all.”

“Why?” You asked, dreading the answer. “What makes today so special?”

He simply laughed and pulled you by the hand toward the stall. He bought a small bag of honeyed walnuts for himself and several crystallized fruit sugar sticks for you. Despite the astronomical cost, he refused to let you pay for yours.

Your anxiousness was growing steadily throughout the day. He bought you things all the time, but it was usually small things, bits and bobs he thought you might like. The candy and the perfume from the other day were the most expensive things he’d ever bought in his life, as far as you knew, and he’d given them both to you. Why? Because he was leaving? Were these presents to soften the blow? If that were the case, you wanted to tell him to take them back, but you also didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was clear he was trying to make your last day together special.

He took you to the pub for lunch, where you saw Marnie and Theo. She winked at you from across the room, although you weren’t certain why. When you asked them to join the two of you, Marnie declined, saying they had an errand to run before forcing Theo out of his seat and dragging him behind her out of the bar. Theo seemed as confused by Marnie’s behavior as you did, but Eli didn’t comment.

Just before sunset, he took you up to the hill that overlooked the town where you and he had often played when you were children, and the two of you sat there with the dinner he’d packed for the two of you: fruit and cheese and ham cooked into bread. It was another costly thing in an already extravagant spread that had been this day.

While you ate, the two of you sat and talked. It was a long, deep conversation, the kind the two of you often had, just discussing everything and nothing. Eli was the only person you could talk to like this. Gods, you’d miss this.

“You know,” He said, popping a piece of the candy into his mouth and crunching noisily. “I do love this town. It may be small, but it’s home. I’d be terribly sad if I ever had to leave.”

With those words, the dam of anxiety you had been holding back all day broke, flooding your body with panic. As hard as you tried to stop, you couldn’t keep the tears from your eyes, and they fell down your cheeks unabated. He was looking out over the valley that cradled Coleville, staring at the sunset, so you didn’t think he noticed you at first, but perhaps you made some small sound without meaning to, a gasp or a shuddering breath, because you suddenly felt his large hand on your shoulder.

“_Hey,_” He whispered softly, a degree of alarm in the deep timber of his voice. “Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong? What is it? Are you feeling alright? Tell me what’s wrong, love. How can I help?”

For a moment, you were crying too hard to allow coherent thought, so he put an arm around your shoulder and snugged you into his side, letting you weep piteously into his shirt. Once you’d calmed down, you looked him square in the face.

“Are you going to take the job in Dunmountain?”

He seemed taken aback. “How did you know about the shop job? Did Marnie and Theo tell you?”

“It doesn’t matter how I found out, why didn’t_ you _tell me?” You asked him, a frown on your face.

“Because I wasn’t sure how to feel about it and wanted to get my thoughts in order first.” He studied you pensively. “Do you think I should go? Be honest. Your opinion matters to me, so I want to know what you really think.”

You took a deep breath and sighed heavily. “The part of me that is your best friend says… yes. Of course you should go. It’s a good job, a great opportunity. I mean, running your own shop! You wouldn’t be Mama’s carthorse anymore; you could be the boss. And you’d get to move to the city, a big place that has everything you could ever need. Compared to that, Coleville is just a hole in the ground. The part of me that wants what’s best for you thinks you’d be so much better off if you went.”

“But?” He pressed.

“But,” You said, staring out over the valley, the tears falling anew. “But there’s another voice. A voice I don’t listen too as often as I should. One that’s usually quiet and easy to ignore, but now it’s screaming so loudly that I can’t hear anything else.”

“What does that voice say?”

Sobs wracked your body as you forced your hands to say, “Don’t go. _Please. _Please stay. You’re the only reason my life still has color. If you’re gone, everything will be gray and cold. I don’t want to lose you, not to anything. _Stay_.” You covered your face in your hands, unable to stop crying.

He pulled you into a tight hug and held you. “Shh. Shh, love, it’s alright. Don’t make yourself sick. I wish I’d known you were so worried, I’d have told you sooner.” He pulled back and tilted your chin up so that you were looking in his eyes. “Winnie, I didn’t tell you about the job because I never intended to go.”

“What?” You asked. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” He replied. “Yeah, it’s a good opportunity and it’s a change of scenery, but who cares? My home is here, my life is here. I have no higher aspirations than to live out my life in our pretty little hole in the ground, as you said, surrounded by our friends. That’s all I want. And besides,” He said, laying a hand on your cheek. “No matter what I decided to do, do you really think I’d ever leave you behind? You’re stuck with me, love, no matter what happens. I’m with you for life.”

You blinked. “Me? Why?”

He gazed at your face for a moment before answering with an affectionate voice and a tender smile.

“I think you know why, Little Bear.”

Your heart sped up so fast that it felt like your chest contained a hummingbird, flitting about your ribcage as if it were a garden of flowers in full bloom. You shook your head, disbelieving.

“No? You don’t know?” He said, his smile becoming a little sad and rueful. “Well, if you don’t, it’s my fault, isn’t it? Forgive me. Allow me to be crystal clear.”

He bent his head and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, hesitating to deepen it in case you pulled away. Elated, you responded by grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him harder. You hadn’t hoped for this. You hadn’t even dreamed of it, but it was happening. His lips tasted of honey.

The two of you broke apart and he laughed at your exuberant reaction. “I hope that means you accept,” He said, wiping the tear tracks away with his thumbs

“But what about Marnie?” You asked.

“I talked to Marnie last night,” He replied. “We’ve broken up. She’s going to take over the store instead of me.”

“Wasn’t she upset?” You asked with concern.

He shook his head. “It was a mutual decision. I told you, Marnie knew what our situation was from the start. Our relationship was fun, but I could never have with Marnie what I have with you. I love Marnie, but I’m_ in love _with you. She knows that, she always has. This way, she gets the big job and I get to be with the woman I love. We both get what we want.”

“I still want to talk to her and make sure she’s okay,” You said with a worried grimace.

“Of course,” He replied, running a soothing hand through your hair and pulling you closer. “She and Theo will be leaving tomorrow afternoon. They’ll both likely want to say goodbye to you before heading off.”

You sighed, placated but not convinced. “Eli,” You asked him curiously. “Why did you ask me to come out today, if you were never going to leave?”

“Because I’ve always wanted to take you on a proper date, and I never could until today,” He said, smiling the sweet, warm smile he only showed to you. “I’ve always loved you, Winnie, ever since we were kids, but I was never sure if you felt more than friendship for me, so I always hesitated to make a move. I started dating Marnie in the hopes that I would move on and get over you, which is a terrible reason to start a relationship, I know. It didn’t work, anyway; I never stopped loving you. Breaking up with Marnie and turning down the job finally gave me the courage to act on my feelings. Even still, I wasn’t sure how you felt about me until just a minute ago.” He grinned ruefully. “I’m glad you didn’t smack me.”

“I might still smack you,” You said, your hands moving sharply in annoyance. “You should have told me about all of this a long time ago. At the very least, you should have told me about the job.”

“I know,” He replied regretfully. “I just didn’t want you to worry yourself to sickness over it. You’d already had a bad fall. I didn’t want to add to your stress, but it seems I did anyway. I’m sorry for not being more forthcoming. I’m sorry for not trusting in you.”

“Well,” You said. “If we’re going to be together, there’d better be no more secrets, mister.”

A slow smile spread like a sunrise on his face. His long ears twitched, one after the other, as they did when he was excited. “You’ll be my girl, then? Officially? I can shout to the world that were together?”

“Only if you promise not to hide things from me anymore, not matter what it is,” You told him sternly.

He kissed your temple. “It’s a promise, love.”

“Good,” You said. “Now take me home.”

He seemed disappointed. “Alright. Are you tired? I suppose it’s been a long day, though it’s been so great I don’t really want it to end yet.”

“No, I don’t mean the store,” You said. “_Your _home. Your room above the pub. I haven’t been in it before. Take me there.”

“...oh,” He said. He actually gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Yeah. Sure, of course.”

It was actually adorable how nervous he seemed. He packed up the picnic and took your hand, leading you back into town.

It was after dark when the two of you got back to the pub, so most of the stalls had shut down and the pub was packed with people. As such, no one noticed the two of you walk through it, hands clasped, and head to the stairs at the opposite end. He stopped in front of the fourth door on the right in a long hallway on the third floor, letting go of your hand so that he could pull a key from his pocket and unlock the door.

The room inside was tidy and small, with a bed and a table on one side, and a wash basin and bureau on the other. There was a small fireplace on the opposite wall and a candelabra on the mantle. Eli set down his basket of food on the table and went to light the candles while you explored. The room was bare of personal belongings besides his clothes and a few books, although you did notice a little wooden rabbit, faded with age, sitting on his bureau.

“I can’t believe you kept this,” you told him.

He smiled. “Of course I did. It was a present.”

“I remember,” You said, returning his smile. “I scraped up every penny I had to get it for you. It was hard because I had to go to the market and try to get the vendor to understand what I wanted, even though I couldn’t talk to him.”

“All because I told you I’d never gotten a present,” He said, coming close and taking it from you, turning it over in his hands. “A lot of the kids at the orphanage never got presents, you know. Why did you only get one for me?”

“You were special to me,” You told him, looking up into his sweet brown eyes. “You still are.”

With his eyes locked on yours, he set the rabbit down and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against him. You stood on your tip-toes to kiss him, kicking off your shoes. His hands reached for the ties of your bodice, untying the knots and pulling the strings loose. You started on the buttons of his shirt.

It started slow, but as more and more clothes fell to the floor, the urgency became more intense, the kisses deeper, the clinging more insistent. By the time both of you had shed your clothes, you were gasping so hard you could barely catch your breath. You fell onto the bed together, and the sound of his antlers knocking against the wall brought you both back to reality. The two of you laughed self-consciously.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked.

“Don’t you?” You asked in return.

“Oh, I’ve dreamed of this,” He replied emphatically. “I just don’t want to rush you. I know this is all a bit sudden, so if you want to wait…”

“I thought I’d never see you again after today,” You told him. “I was fully prepared to pine for you for the rest of my life. I’m ready for this. More than ready.”

“If you insist,” He said with a grin, maneuvering the two of you to the head of the bed so that his antlers weren’t scraping the wall anymore and bent to kiss you again.

His hands, the pads of which were rough like sandpaper, roamed your body, touching every hidden inch. When they grazed your breasts, you made a noise involuntarily, a soft whimper. Eli popped up on his elbows and looked down at you.

“Did you like that?” He asked. You nodded. “Can you do that again? Make that noise?”

Since the carriage incident when you were little, something in your brain prevented you from being able to form words, but you could make sounds. You didn’t like to do it around other people because it made you self-conscious, but Eli seemed to be enjoying it. As Eli kneaded your flesh, you did it again. Eli bit his lip, his hand moving further south.

“If I do something you don’t like or feels wrong, or if you start to have an episode, push me away, alright?” He said as he reached down to open your legs, throwing one over his hips as he lay beside you, and you nodded again.

He flipped his hand so that his knuckles caressed down your belly to your core, the back of his pointer finger slicked down your slit and back up again, rubbing against your clit and beginning to move in slow, tight circles like a gentle massage. You tried to keep your eyes on his face, but they closed on their own as the pleasure began to flow through your body. More of those sounds he liked so much issued from you as your breathing became uneven.

You were on your back, and Eli was on his side next to you, caressing you and watching your face. You hand was down by your side, and you felt something nudge it. Your head came up and looked down, and you were shocked to realize his cock was fully erect and right next to your fingers.

He looked down as well. “Oh!” He said, pushing his middle away from you. “Sorry.”

You shook your head. “Touch?” You asked with one hand and pointed at his organ.

“If you want to,” He said, returning to his previous position.

Looking down over your body to his, you reached out and touched the head of it, hesitantly at first but with growing confidence. It was smooth and silky, the same dusky grey as his fur with a blush pink tip. Eli buried his face into your hair and inhaled deeply, sighing with satisfaction. His massaging sped up, and your legs began to twitch.

As the two of you touched each other, you kissed lovingly and lasting. You pulled up your knees instinctually and he moved his hand to reach underneath your thigh, continuing the pressure against your clit. Your pelvis moved against his hand and the pitch of your noise increased. Eli responded positively to that, moving his lips to your nipples and taking them into his mouth, circling his tongue around them.

A crash of explosive bliss rushed through you, your muscles tensing and your back arching.

“You’re alright?” You heard Eli ask anxiously. His voice was a little distant, due to the rushing sound in your ear. You turned and cuddled into the fur of his chest, nodding happily. He wrapped his arms around you and snugged you in tightly, his nose pressed into your neck.

“I can’t believe this is really happening. I’ve loved you since we were little kids. I never believed you’d love me back.”

“Why?” You asked him, looking at him curiously. “Why would that be so hard to believe?”

He shrugged and avoided your eye. “I don’t know. I… I guess maybe… I felt like you blamed me for what happened with the carriage.”

You sat up in shock and stared at him in disbelief. “What? I’ve never blamed you, not once! How could you possibly think such a thing?”

He sat up too, pulling his knees up and resting his elbows on them, his head down. “I was right there, right next to you. I could have pulled you out of the way, but I wasn’t fast enough.”

You pulled his arms away and tugged his head up, climbing into his lap. “Have you been shouldering the idea that this was your fault all this time? No wonder you’re always so grumpy. It was no one’s fault but my uncle’s, you know that, Eli. He was a cruel, selfish man who will got what was coming to him.”

“I’d have killed him if you’d let me,” He said darkly.

“Well, I didn’t. Forget him. I have.” You kissed him again. “He’s gone. Let’s not think about him. Think about us, about where we are right now.”

His guilty frown transformed into a bright, lovely smile. “Happily.”

The two of you took your time, kissing and touching while you were straddling his lap, and when you asked him to, he reached between you and pressed his cock to your entrance, carefully guiding you down onto him. There was a sharp pinch, but it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

He grasped your hips and showed you how to move as he thrust into you from underneath. He kissed your face and neck and chest and whispered how much he loved you over and over. You grunted and moaned and made more noise than you likely had in your entire life. When you came again, it was like fireworks, like sunrise, like every beautiful thing. He pulsed inside you and threw his head back, wheezing unsteadily.

You went limp in his arms with your head resting on him. He pressed his lips to your shoulder and went still as well as the both of you recovered in silence. Eventually, he lay you down on the bed and covered you both with the blanket.

“It’s gotten late,” Eli said, yawning. “I’d love for you to stay the night with me, but do you think you’re mother would be upset?”

You snorted. “Are you kidding? I think she knew this would happen eventually.”

“Your mother is a smart woman. She always has been,” He said.

“She’s smug about it, too,” You gestured snidely, and he snickered.

“In that case, sleep, love,” He said. “I’ll be right here.”

With your face nestled into the softness of his chest fur, you were happy to comply.

The next morning, Eli ordered in breakfast and the two of you lounged until noon. It was the closest thing to a vacation the two of you had ever had. You started to feel guilty around lunchtime, though, and headed back to the shop. Your mother had a smug smirk on her face as the two of you came inside, which you ignored.

An hour later, after you changed clothes and helped with the sweeping, Marnie and Theo came by to purchase some provisions for the road. After they made their purchases, you and Eli followed them to the woodcarving shop and met with Cetzu and his father in law, who were loading up two covered wagons that were full of inventory for the new shop in Dunmountain.

You gave Theo a hug and kiss and then stepped back for a moment so that Marnie and Eli could talk privately. Their farewell was brief, and after a short hug, Eli waved you over and went to bid Theo farewell. You went to Marnie and pulled her aside, out of earshot of the others.

“Are you really okay with this?” You asked. “Breaking up with Eli and moving to a new city?”

“Yeah, it’s exciting!” She said, her face bright. “I’ll have my own store, just like you will someday! It’s wonderful. I get my fancy life in the big city, and you get Eli, like he’s always wanted. Everyone wins.”

You felt like her words were sincere, but also like she was overselling it.

“Marnie,” You pressed. “Do you love Eli?”

She continued to smile at you, but it had changed almost imperceptibly. She pulled you into a tight hug.

“Don’t look so sad,” She whispered gently into your ear. “Everything is as it should be. Be happy. Take care of the big guy for me, eh? And take care of yourself, too.” She pulled away and continued to smile kindly. “If anything happens to you, Eli won’t know what to do with himself. He loves you more than anything in the world, you know.”

You nodded, unable to keep the regret off your face. “I’m sorry, Marnie.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I’ve got a new job to keep me busy. I’m happy about that. And I’ll send you letters telling you all about it.” She hugged you again. “Be well, little sister.”

You wrapped your arms around her tightly and squeezed for a solid minute. When you released her, she kissed your forehead before taking a step back and swinging up into the driver’s box of her covered wagon next to her hired escort. Theo followed suit in his. Marnie snapped the reins and the caravan took off toward the glittering city.

Eli came up and wrapped you in his arms.

“You alright?” He asked. “You look sad.”

“I’ll just miss them,” You said.

“Me too,” He said. “Maybe I’ll take you on a trip one day to visit them. Maybe it could be our honeymoon.”

You turned with a shocked look on your face and he chuckled.

“In time.”


End file.
